Rebirth and Redemption
by ponsavium
Summary: A young woman, thrown into center of chaos in Skyrim, must build her new life from the ground up and face the far reaching consequences of her decisions. The first trial she must face is her betrayal of Jarl Balgruuf.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Rest for the Weary

In the cold air of Eastmarch she walked, skin dry from windburn and body heavy with the memory of battle. Solitude was taken, and for the moment, at least, Skyrim was quiet. Not yet peaceful for Ondine could feel the anger of defeated Legionaires curse her from the distance in the still, icy night.

She pushed open the gates of Windhelm and smiled a little at the familiar creak of its hinges. Right away she walked to the Palace of the Kings and made her way into throne room. She looked around the room but there was no one there.

"What time is it, Serana?" She said to her companion.

"Almost midnight" The hooded woman replied.

Ondine shifted her weight and felt her joints creak and crack. She wondered when she last slept in a bed. For several weeks she'd been fighting in the war and either slept in a Stormcloak camp or curled up beneath a rock formation to rest. Even before she joined Ulfric she hadn't had much rest as she was traveling to and fro, taking care of the dragon crisis. Ondine was distressed even further by the thought that before that she was fighting for the Dawnguard.

Three months. She figured it had been three months since she had a wholesome nights rest. And three months since her parents died in the fire. She thought of visiting her old home again, but pushed the thought from her mind as it made her too sad. She decided to take some well deserved time off from sadness, war and danger. She wanted to spend some down time with her best friend and, for once, not worry about being a hero.

"Come Serana, let's spend tonight in Candlehearth Hall."

" You feeling alright Ondine?"

"Yes, I'm just feeling very. . . homesick." She sighed.

"If you want, we can visit your house in the morning..." Serana offered, concerned for her friend.

" Mmm, no. I don't think that will help. . ." she trailed off, exiting the keep.

Serana paused before asking " What is it then?"

"I don't know. It just feels wrong to keep returning to a ruined house where the only thing that stands is a single chest and two gravestones. I'm homesick but that isn't my home anymore, I don't have a home."

"I- I know exactly how you feel." Serana said softly. "Volkihar was my home for centuries, but now, after the battle with my father, everyone else also died. I can never return there. I don't regret stoping my father, but I do wish it was possible for the others to have survived... Its almost too painful to think about. But we're the same, you and I, we're both severed from our old lives and bound to them."

" And neither of us has a home to speak of. . ." Ondine whispered.

"Well, I have you..." Serana began " Fort Dawnguard is a nice enough place to rest between adventures but I feel more at home with you , Ondine, than any other place."

"I feel that way too," Ondine replied "I'm glad to call you my best friend, Serana. You've been a great comfort to me in the time we've spent together."

Ondine smiled brightly and pushed the Inn door open. Inside the sound of rest filled the air. Elda stood behind the counter and offered the two women some wine and a fresh loaf of bread. Ondine handed over the gold for the food and they ate their meal in good company.

Ondine sat on the edge of her bed and took off her helmet. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the yellow metal. Dark circles now framed her once bright eyes. Her blonde hair was pressed into an odd shape from the helmet and fell to her chin. She wondered if she really looked so washed out or if it was just the tint of the helmet. Either way, she figured sleep would be best. So she lay down her head, and drifted into a deep sleep.

In the morning, she woke to the sound of a page turning. She opened her eyes and saw Serana resting on the bed beside her with a book in her hands. She stretched her arms and yawned.

" Well well. Look who's finally awake! I was beginning to think only a dragon shout would stir you."

Ondine rubbed her eyes and managed to only breathe the words "How long?" out of a dry throat.

"You were asleep for 15 hours. Long enough for a thunder storm to pass before I went out for a bandit. I got back 2 hours ago, so I read a few books."

"Went out for a bandit?" Ondine questioned.

Serana nodded. "I was hungry, I haven't had blood since I left Volkihar."

Ondine nodded, yawned once more then reached into her pack and pulled out a bottle. She uncorked it and drank the few tablespoons of fluid it contained. The taste of the potion was dry and bitter. This particular phial contained Ondine's last attempt at alchemy. What was meant to be a potion of healing wound up a pittiful draught only able to heal bruises, and in this case a sore throat. After Ondine ate a heel of bread and drank a small mead the two exited the Inn.

Outside, the air was damp and the skies were grey. They entered the Palace of the Kings once more and found Jorlief inside. Ondine approached and greeted the steward, and informed him that she had killed the dragon at Bonestrewn Crest and had come for the bounty. Jorlief thanked her and obliged, handing her a purse of 500 gold. She was about to turn and leave when Jorleif spoke.

"Jarl Ulfric was looking for you, Stormblade. He's in that room there, go on and speak with him."

She thought it was odd for Ulfric to ask for her directly, but nevertheless she entered the room on the left and greeted him.

"Good afternoon my Jarl, what can I do for you?" She spoke sweetly and with reverence. She removed her helmet to speak and held it in both hands by her hips.

"Ah, there you are. Ondine, Dragonborn, Savior of the Sun, Stormblade. You've acquired quite a few names for yourself by now, I'd like to ask you to take on one more."

"Sir?"

" I'd like to name you Thane of Eastmarch. You've proven yourself invaluable to my cause, and to myself. You have also become very popular in Windhelm. Upon my return here I heard stories of your kindness towards my people. From the noble house Shatter-Shield to the Dark Elves to even the Argonians working on the docks, your caring nature resonates with everyone in Windhelm. Theres no better person to hand that title to than you. However, as per law and tradition that honor can only be bestowed on a person who owns property within the city. Now I know that I have already asked so much of you, but please. I'd love for you to call Windhelm your home. What say you?"

Ondine thought a moment, then sighed the word "Home" She turned her head to look at Serana who was waiting politely by the wall. She turned back to Ulfric and spoke.

"I'd love to have a place to call home after all this time." She smiled wide.

"What do you mean?

"Well, that day in Helgen, that was only a week or so after my parents died in the fire that also destroyed my home. Ive been on the road ever since then, never sleeping in she same place, carrying all I own on my back."

Ulfric furrowed his brow. " After all you've done for Skyrim..." He paused, took a good look at her face, now not covered by a helmet. He expected to see creased skin and sunken eyes, but instead what he found was a bright face and rosy cheeks. "What is your age?" Definitely younger than himself, he thought.

"Seventeen years, Sir."

No, there was no way that this woman who defeated the World Eater, who all but eliminated the vampire menace, who reclaimed all of Skyrim for the Nords, could be so young. He expected her to be close to his age at least; forty-thirty maybe. But no, just seventeen. He could barely believe it.

"By Talos! I'd thought you were a riper age! Who would think that one so green could be so- well, not?" He took a step closer towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Ondine-" He now spoke low and soft, "I count you among my kin, you know that. If I had ever had a daughter, I would hope she would be just like you."

"If you had a daughter she would be nothing like me, or at least have a heart unlike mine. I was nothing more than the curious daughter of a conjurer and an alchemist three months ago. All I have accomplished began with the deepest fear, not a thirst for justice or any heroic notions." Ondine said these words as if each grew smaller and smaller.

Ulfric shook his head. "Tell me, why did you join the Dawnguard?

"Because, I was afraid of vampires..."

"And what made you fight Alduin?"

"I was called upon as Dragonborn."

"And when did you decide to join my cause in the war?"

"When I saw blood stain the shrine of Talos at the hand of a Thalmor agent."

He smiled, "Well friend, you sound like a true hero to me. You faced your fear head on, you answered your calling and you resolved to end an injustice. Those are the marks of true heroism. It doesn't mean courage comes easy, it means we fight to find courage in the moments when you most need it for the sake of those who need you."

"Thank you. I think perhaps that was exactly what I needed" She laughed, for once truly joyful. " I think I'll speak to Jorleif about that house now. Thank you again!"

She left the room and walked across the great hall with Serana following close behind her. She approached Jorlief, now sitting at the dining table with a mug of mead.

"Jorlief?"

"Yes, how can I help you?"

"I'd like to purchase a house in the city."

"Wonderful! The price is 12,000 gold."

She reached into her pack and handed him a large sack of gold. She wondered how she could carry so much gold without being over-encumbered but shrugged off the thought.

"Would you like to purchase furnishings for your new home? Here this is a guide to the furnishings you can buy." He said handing her a book.

She flipped through the pages. Each room cost about 1000-2000 gold to decorate. Then she remembered that the house was recently the lair of the butcher and was rather messy.

"How much to have the butchers mess cleaned?"

"Oh, right. The house is still a bloodbath, ain't it? I think 500 gold will cover the cost of cleaning"

"Alright, I'd also like to buy furniture for a bedroom and a kitchen."

"Very well,is there anything else youd like to purchase?"

Ondine counted the remainder of her gold in her head, then turned to Serana.

"Is it okay if we share a bed until I can get enough money to buy you a room of your own?"

Serana nodded " Thats fine with me, but you really don't have to go out of your way to make room for me. I don't want to be a burden."

"Don't be silly, you deserve your own space. I count all the gold I collect on adventures with you as half yours. Sorry I never said that before, I just assumed you knew- Wait, is it okay if I spend all of our money on this house?"

"Haha! Yes, yes it's fine! I don't ever really buy anything anyways so the money is yours."

Ondine smiled, turned back to Jorlief and handed him an additional 2500 gold.

"Very good. I'll make the arrangements immediately. Your home should be ready and furnished by this time tomorrow." Jorlief said.

Ondine smiled, thanked him and left the palace with Serana by her side.

Once outside, Ondine began thinking of ways she could make more money to finish decorating her house. She remembered that she had accumulated quite a bit of jewelry on her many quests. She could never hope to wear all of it so she figured that she could sell it off to make some easy gold. She sat down against the front wall of the courtyard to go through her collection of rings, necklaces and circlets; figuring that was the safest place to count these items, away from the paths of passers-by.

She counted thirty necklaces, five circlets and seventeen rings. That would definitely get her a few thousand, but she would also have to make several trips. No merchant in Skyrim could possibly buy it all. Ondine decided to start in Solitude and work her way back east, stopping in each city to sell a bit more.

"Lets take the carriage to Solitude," Ondine began "I think we've earned the scenic route."

Serana nodded and the two exited the main gate and boarded a carriage. Ondine handed the driver an extra 15 gold pieces to take the long way through Whiterun. The driver struck the reins and the carriage departed. They sat quietly through most of the trip and watched the world around them turn from snowy hills of the Pale, to the wide open plains of Whiterun, to the eerie wetlands of Hjalmarch, to the lofty cliffs of Haffingar.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Finding Repercussions

Upon arriving Solitude stables Ondine felt a small turn in her stomach. She remembered that just three days ago she stormed the city with Ulfric and she wasn't sure if she would be met with hostility or bitterness. But she figured it was best to not let that stop her.

She walked up to the front gate where two Stormcloak soldiers greeted her by her war name and opened the gate for her. She walked through the gate to find the city as it always was. Children running about and smell of spiced wine in the air. The only thing that gave away that there was recently a battle there was the missing shingles on the roofs, and of course all of the Stormcloak guards.

Ondine entered the Radiant Raiment and walked to the counter. Edarie gave Ondine her usual cold welcome. Ondine immediately presented her with all of the jewelry with flawless diamonds, knowing that this was the place she would get the best price for them. After some light negotiation Ondine waked away with 1,275 gold more. Just outside the shop Ondine encountered Taarie.

"You wouldnt be heading to the Blue Palace would you?" She asked.

"Not today why?" Ondine replied.

" Well, I need to ask you do do me a favor." Taarie pulled a gown wrapped in paper out of her satchel.

"I want you to wear this gown then speak to Jarl Elisif. Draw her attention to your outfit and if she likes it, tell her it was made at the Radiant Raiment. If you'll do that for me I'd not only pay you for your time but Id also let you keep the gown"

"Alright, give me the gown and I'll head right over." Ondine agreed, not about to pass up such an easy opportunity to make some extra coin.  
>Taarie smiled, thanked her, and handed over the outfit. Ondine went into the ally across from the store and changed attire behind the pine tree. Removing her elven armor and pulling the new gown over the tunic she wore under her armor. She also changed into fine boots and a full set of jewelry. Once she was dressed, she and Serana walked to the Blue palace and made their way inside. They both went upstairs and approached the Jarl.<p>

"Good day Jarl Elisif." Ondine said with a polite bow.

"Good day." Responded Elisif, with a clear twinge of resentment in her voice. "Unless you have bussiness with the court, I'll ask you speak to Falk"

"I came to speak with you, Jarl."

"Oh?" Still uncomfortable.

"Now that the fighting has ended, what do you think it will take to achieve peace?"

Seeing that Ondine's intentions were pure and sensitive Elisif sighed and responded.

"Well I suppose the only thing we can do is keep communication lines open. I may have lost my claim as High Queen but theres no point in being bitter. Besides, all of the Jarls will need to work together in case our conflict with the elves worsens."

Ondine nodded in agreement. Elisif drew her attention now to Ondines attire. Despite the recent battle she was not wearing armor, but rather a rather well tailored gown.

"Y-you're wearing a gown? Every time I've seen you, you were in full armor."

"Well I thought it would be nice for a change of clothes, armor is rather uncomfortable. Do you like it?"

"Why yes, it's rather fetching."

"It was made at the Radiant Raiment here in the city."

"Well I think I'll be placing an order for a few new gowns there soon."

"I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that. Now if you'll excuse me, my lady, I must go. Farewell."

"Goodbye."

As she and Serana turned away Ondine smiled at herself, pleased with herself and happy to have so easily earned whatever gold was promised to her. But her smile was interupted when she reached the bottom of the stairs and heard something.

The sound was that of the clamor of three or four adults talking. One of the voices sounded familiar so she followed the sound. It lead her around the corner and down the hall to a stairwell. That one voice she couldn't place rang once more. Following it, she went down two small flights of stairs and entered a room. She heard the voice once more, this time unmistakeable.

"I miss the days when you could truly count on your brothers to always be family, and trust the heroes would always be heroes. But now Skyrim is filled with betrayors lusting for power and all those corrupted by their influence." It was Jarl Balgruuf.

She looked around and all talking stopped. All eyes were fixed on her and Ondine could feel the resentment hang heavy in the air. What she saw before her was a room full of all the exiled Jarls that were displaced when the Stormcloaks took control of Skyrim. The Jarls that she displaced.

Across the room, Balgruuf sat by the fire. He made eye contanct with her for a moment. It was as if he had trapped her in that gaze and would only release her once she had something to trade. She holds her breath, searching for a way to buy her life back, but for now she is ensnared by the scornful stare of the man that she had looked up to for so long.

On the day of the battle for Whiterun, it broke her heart to see him removed from the throne. Even more when he looked at her when he surrendered and expressed his disgust that she had made this choice. After that battle she curled up beneath the crag behind the city and wept. Torn and unconsolable she sat on the cold ground until the moons set. Serana tried so hard to comfort her with little success.

She could think of nothing else but to approach him. Irileth hissed about the ways she pictured Ondine dead, but she ignored her and walked slowly across the room. All the while she kept her chin down and maintained eye contact with Balgruuf. She walked so that she was standing right in front of him. She felt that after all she had done, it would be cruel to make him turn his head to speak to her.

"What do you want, traitor?"

She flinches at the sound of the last word. It hurts her but she knows she's earned that name. He guided her, sheltered her, and she joined Ulfric. She wants to look away but she cant bring herself to. She knows that she did what any Nord would do. She fought for what she believed in and was victorious. To her though, it felt like she was a child who had done something very wrong.

She didn't want to defend herself, and it didn't feel right to apologize. To apologize would be an insult to everyone. Again she felt trapped. She had to say something because to let him see her cry would be the worst possible thing to do. She opened her mouth and for some reason the only thing she found she was able to say was "What will it take to end the war?"

"Ulfric Stormcloaks head on a pike. I promise you, he doesn't care about whats best for Skyrim. The only thing Ulfric cares about is Ulfric. He's had his eye on the throne for years."

For a moment now, he broke eye contact. Ondine was able to look away and she saw Joric sitting in the corner fiddling with his feet. Ondine turned her head to look around the room but saw no other children. The thought that was rather odd, she knew Balgruuf had children but she didn't see them.

"Where are your children?" She asked pensively.

Balgruuf sighed and shut his eyes. "If the gods are merciful, they've found a safe place to hide in the city. I'm sure Vignar will ask a kings ransom for them."

Ondines heart dropped. The thought that she had caused a family to be separated made her sick to her stomach.


End file.
